I’ve been so cold this winter that I turn my heat up to 74 degrees.

It’s been so frigid that I have become a hermit. Unless I’m dropping Evan off at school, picking him up, or going to appointments or the grocery store, I am not going anywhere.

I have felt the winter penetrate my bones so deeply that I refuse to take off my Snuggy.

So, basically, this has been me…

So I booked a flight to Orlando to sell some books and experience some heat beyond the warmth of my Snuggy and the steam of romance novels.

Speaking of, my baby girl, my Dominicanita, my doctora, Yoanna, sold out at the Spellbound Bookstore’s Romance Book Fair! I brought fewer copies since it’s the second book in the Heights of Love series, but when readers passed by my author table and read Yoanna’s blurb, they were intrigued.

I will always feel like a proud momma with Candi because she was my first. But, just like parents of multiple kids get better at parenting, by the second book, authors get a better grip on how to craft a story. We feel more confident about who we are as romance authors and just let shit flow.

Now I’m on my third book, Reina, and I’m letting loose—like when a parent didn’t let her eldest daughter date, but by the third daughter, the boyfriend is chilling in her bedroom (open door, of course).

As for the rest of my time in Orlando…

Other than meeting amazingly supportive readers and authors alike, I reconnected with my godmother, Nancy, whom I hadn’t seen since I was 9 years old after she moved to Orlando.

I’m still beaming from our time together. I felt so loved, seen, heard, and connected to her and her husband, who have known me since I was 4 months old. She even gave me the photo below of me at that age. The fact that she still has it melts my heart…

So, yes! The trip was a success. I saw palm trees. I sold books. I felt warm and fuzzy in more ways than one.

I can’t wait for my next trip to Orlando (soon, because I am manifesting moving there) and my next romance book signing in May in PA! Oh, and of course, my birthday is in April. Stay tuned for a special book sale and more details on my next three (yes, three!) book signings!

Love,

Sujeiry

I’m writing this update from a brand-new zip code, in a new home, and in my new office, which has a completely different view from my previous office.

I may not be staring at trees covered in snow, watching neighbors who are not very neighborly on their midday walks, or kids getting off the school bus with an innocence and openness that makes them kind to everyone, even if they don’t look like them.

I may not be in the zip code I imagined when I was a single girl in my 20s, dreaming of my dream home with my dream husband, because Long Island never once crossed my mind.

Yet here I am, starting over yet again due to circumstances that are too annoying to share, but that have everything to do with unneighborly neighbors.

Which brings me back to writing steamy romance novellas…

I am developing a grumpy neighbor romance series based on this experience. Real life is always fodder, even when real life sucks.

I’m also finishing up Reina, the third and final installment of my Heights of Love series, a bingeable, steamy romance novella series about a close group of friends from Washington Heights navigating love, ambition, and desire in New York City. (Check out the series here.)

Reina’s release day has changed…

I had initially planned to release this book on my birthday, April 16, but I’ve learned that it’s essential to give myself ample time to promote my books. So, I am publishing Reina on May 21, 2026, which is my mom’s birthday!

The writing process is coming along…

I’m at the halfway mark and enjoying writing Reina so much that I can’t help but laugh as I write. The proof is in the Instagram reel below.

I love that I’m writing a steamy romance romcom featuring an over-40, perimenopausal single mom who’s learning to love her body, all while getting caught up in a love triangle with a much younger man and a powerful Reality TV executive producer.

And no, this is not autobiographical, despite folks sliding into my DMs assuming otherwise. Although I wouldn’t mind attracting two hotties :-)

Speaking of hotties…

I’m participating in two promotions where you can read free romance stories featuring the hottest MMCs (male main characters).

Check out these post-Valentine’s Day freebies featuring billionaires, firefighters, and steamy romance novels and short stories.

This February Love Promo has a mixed bag of hot single dads, ranchers, bad boys, and more.

Stay tuned for more announcements about upcoming events (I have exciting news on that front!), ARC sign-ups, and so much more. I vowed to expand in 2026, and that I am, even if it’s from a different zip code in a different town with a different view than I imagined.

Love,

Sujeiry

I have yet to watch the new season of Bridgerton (no spoilers, please!), but I can only assume it follows the delicious formula we’ve grown to love: yearning, sexual tension, and those “Happily Ever Afters” that keep us at the edge of our cushions.

To celebrate my own binge-watching session this Valentine’s weekend, I’ve joined a gaggle of fellow Latina romance authors for a most scandalous sale.

This week only (February 8 - February 15), you can grab my steamy novella, Yoanna, and 17 other romance novels for just $0.99.

It is a truly lovely way to celebrate the season of love and support Latina authors right on the heels of the “Benito Bowl.” Consider it your personal invitation to the season’s most affordable Promenade of Romance.

• The Goods: Grab Yoanna for $0.99 on Amazon here.

• The Full List: Check out all 13 romance novels at this link.

• The Gossip: Share the news on social media and follow my latest updates @authorsujeiry.

Enjoy these swoon-worthy reads, and may your weekend be filled with all the romance you can handle.

Yours Truly,

Lady Sujeiry of Islip of East

I began developing Reina’s character while writing Yoanna, the second book in my Heights of Love series. And she is so different from my other leading ladies!

• Candi is a messy, creative, and impulsive hopeful romantic. She loves love and often gets carried away by her raging libido. At 29, she’s been looking for love in all the wrong places, stumbling from connection to connection until she finally falls for Joel, her bestie’s twin brother.

• Yoanna, Candi’s bestie, is her total opposite: professional, put-together, and practical. Turning 30 in the very first chapter of her debut novella, she has a strict checklist for the perfect partner. But when she meets Ben, she starts to wonder if losing control is exactly what she needs.

• Reina is a woman in midlife. At 45, she’s starting over after finally letting go of her on-again, off-again ex-fiancé and the father of her son, Peter. Struggling with aging and body image, she’s a curvy single mom on a journey to self-love who suddenly finds herself being pursued by two hotties, Abel and Jacob.

Why Reina Matters

I am enjoying writing Reina so much. Although her story isn’t autobiographical (despite what people think), some parts definitely ring true. As a 47-year-old single mom navigating a changing body and shifting hormones, I know the struggle of staying open to love and embracing change.

I’m so proud to create a Latina character who isn’t just “older,” but who is actively working through self-worth issues and perimenopause while navigating dating over 45. She is special because she’s real. Reina represents so many of us.

The Cover

Because Reina represents so much, I wanted her cover to be just as special and dripped in representation. I am still working on the perfect font, but I couldn’t wait any longer to share the primary image with all of you!

Chichos (back rolls), the Dominican flag, two dark chocolate men vying for her attention, and springtime in NYC—I am obsessed with this cover! I’m so proud of how it turned out and how Reina’s story is coming to life.

Hit the heart if you love the cover!

I am thrilled to finally share that I will be an attending author at the Spellbound Bookstores Romance Fair in Sanford, FL. I am hopping on a flight from frigid, snowy, icy Long Island, NY, and heading to the Sunshine State.

Come by if you’re in the area! Say hi, buy a signed copy of Candi, and meet me IRL.

Spellbound Bookstore Romance Fair

• Date & Time: February 28th, 2026

• Venue: West End Trading Co., 202 S Sanford Ave, Sanford, FL 32771

This is exactly what I intended as an indie romance author for 2026. There’s so much more to come, including the Reina cover reveal and blurb, a new steamy romance series, a romance short, and more free romance reads from me. I also have another exciting announcement that I’ll share once I get approval. Yay!

See some of you in Florida. Till next time!

xo,

Sujeiry

My word for 2025 was Trust.

I chose this word to root myself in self-trust, specifically because I had a habit of listening to others instead of myself. Before making decisions, or even when trying to cope with life, I often turned to family, friends, and even coworkers to vent, complain, and receive guidance instead of processing and tuning into my own intuition.

What I learned in 2025 is that no one can tell me what’s right for me.

No one can decide for me. My life is mine to live, so I needed to learn how to trust myself in order to align with my desires.

I created a 2025 vision board and placed the word TRUST at the center. The images surrounding it represented the area of my life where I needed to trust myself the most: romantic relationships.

That wasn’t the only way I practiced self-trust. I did breathwork to regulate my nervous system. I repeated affirmations daily to ground myself in being self-trusting, self-loving, chosen, enough, and worthy. Over time, I naturally began to trust myself, slowly breaking old habits of seeking outside validation and guidance.

I started asking myself simple but powerful questions: What do I want? And after answering, Does this align with my desires? I also asked, Would a self-trusting and self-loving Sujeiry do this, say this, take this action?

These questions were intentional. They helped me become more self-aware and taught me how to be naturally attuned to my intuition, my fears, and my thoughts.

And it worked.

I have never felt this self-trusting. I feel clear in who I am and what I want out of life.

Now, I’m ready to take on 2026, grounded in my new word: Expansion.

More on what’s to come next time, especially news and updates on my romance novels, my co-hosted podcast, and upcoming events. Thank you for reading. And if you’d like, let me know what word you’re choosing for 2026.

Love,
Sujeiry

Heights of Love is a bingeable, steamy romance series about a close group of friends from Washington Heights navigating love, ambition, and desire in New York City. Centered on bold, multicultural women who embrace sexual freedom and living life fully and loudly, these stories prove that wanting love never means giving up desire. These leading ladies always decide how the story ends.

BUY THE HEIGHTS OF LOVE BUNDLE

The first book of the series, Candi, features a love triangle, friends-to-lovers tension, and a heroine caught between her office crush and her best friend’s brother.

Set in New York City, this steamy romance is filled with messy choices, irresistible chemistry, and authentic lifelong friendships and bonds.

Candi is perfect for romance readers who love workplace romance, best friends’ siblings tropes, and fast-paced stories.

BUY CANDI

Yoanna, the second book of the series, follows a buttoned-up OBGYN who surrenders to chaos and chemistry when she meets mysterious and charismatic Ben.

This steamy holiday romance novel set in NYC is about a chance encounter that refuses to stay casual when two opposites keep crossing paths. Secrets surface, attraction deepens, and walking away feels impossible.

You’ll love Yoanna if you love twists and turns, secret identity reveals, and can’t-stay-away chemistry.

BUY YOANNA

Yoanna follows a buttoned-up OBGYN who surrenders to chaos and chemistry when she meets mysterious and charismatic Ben.

AVAILABLE ON AMAZON & KU

What’s in store when you read Yoanna

🌶️🌶️🌶️ Heat level (4)
🔥a steamy bingerable romance set in New York City
💻secret identity romance
🔺holiday romance
❤️opposites attract romance
🌀a Latina FMC (female main character) who’s bold, ambitious, and struggling to remain in control
💫undeniable attraction

READ IT TODAY

More About Yoanna, A Steamy Holiday Romance

Tis the season to be merry, but for Dr. Yoanna De Santos the holidays have become…complicated. With Pedro, her avoidant fiancé, dumping her over text at her Christmas/birthday party, the last thing this successful OBGYN needs is messy. Yoanna, or Yo, as her loved ones call her, wants life to be organized and meticulously planned - even if it is a tad boring.

Dull is safe. Safe keeps her in control. So why is she giving in to her sexual urges for Ben?

With a cool, intense yet approachable demeanor, Ben is more than Yoanna bargained for. The mysterious waiter shares little about himself but listens to Yo like no other man. Despite her elitism and judgment, Yo explores their sexual chemistry and instant attraction. Will she drop her guard and allow herself to fall in love, or will Ben’s secret destroy their connection?

BUY A SIGNED COPY OF YOANNA

Candi is caught between the man she’s been chasing and the one who’s been teasing her since forever - her best friend’s irresistible twin brother.

AVAILABLE ON AMAZON & KU

What’s in store when you read Candi:

🌶️🌶️🌶️ Heat level (3)
🔥a steamy bingerable romance set in New York City
💻workplace romance
🔺love triangle romance
❤️friends-to-lovers romance
👯‍♂️authentic lifelong friendships
🌀a Latina FMC (female main character) who makes messy choices in that loveable, relatable way
💫irresistible chemistry

READ CANDI NOW

More about Candi: A Steamy, Love Triangle Romance

Candi is as messy as messy can get.

A hopeful romantic with a major crush on her co-worker, Jay, she’s doing her best to keep her best friend’s twin brother, Joel, firmly out of her dating life.

When Candi sets her sights on Jay at a company party, things don’t go as planned. She turns to her best friend, Yo, for comfort. A Sunday of BBMs (bagels, bacon, and mimosas) sounds like exactly what she needs, until Yo shows up with her hot twin brother in tow.

Teasing Candi has always been Joel’s favorite pastime. A confident marketing guru and irresistible charmer, he’s never had trouble with women, except Candi. Determined to protect her friendship with Yo, Candi tries to ignore the chemistry between them, but resisting Joel is harder than she expected.

Torn between the man she wants and the man she shouldn’t want, Candi must decide if she’s willing to risk her heart and her friendship for love.

BUY A SIGNED COPY OF CANDI

I’m Sujeiry, and I write contemporary, spicy romance novels centering bold, beautiful, multicultural leading ladies who embrace sexual freedom, autonomy, and choice. Wanting love never means giving up or settling for less than what they desire and deserve, even when what they want comes with twists and turns, sexy escapades, and messy choices.

My spicy romance novels celebrate female desire, choice, and sexuality without shame.

My leading ladies want love like the rest of us, and they always decide how their love story ends.

Craving this kind of romance? Look no further.

Subscribe to Sujeiry Writes to receive a free, spicy romance read that will satisfy your curiosity. When you subscribe, you will also receive Sujeiry Mail, featuring exclusive behind-the-scenes updates, author musings, and you’ll get first dibs on what I’m cooking up next.

Would they accept me? Shun me? Judge me? Or is this all in my head because of my Catholic guilt?

I’ve written about relationships, mindset, and self-love. I’ve penned personal essays and poems about men I’ve loved, lusted after, and lost. I’ve published romance novellas with explicit sex scenes (masturbation and orgasms included), yet I’ve kept one topic private: tarot.

Tarot has been part of my life since I was 15 years old.

That’s when I purchased my first deck and began reading for friends and myself. I admit that I misused tarot for many years. I clung to card meanings and their predictions, deferred to the cards before making decisions, and obsessively read tarot until I pulled the cards that satisfied the story I wanted to play out. That was a different version of me.

Now that I am self-trusting and self-loving, I’ve learned how to read tarot as an intuitive guide, and I’ve been reading successfully for clients—and on YouTube and TikTok—for over two years.

I hid this part of me by using a different name.

I was so scared of being discovered that I initially read tarot on YouTube and only showed my hands.

I was afraid of being shunned because I grew up Catholic; mysticism and divination tools are seen as the devil’s work.

I worried that people who knew the “old me” would judge this new direction.

I thought the only way to be accepted was to separate this part of who I am.

But hiding is exhausting.

Hiding parts of ourselves means we think there is something wrong with who we are.

We can’t fragment ourselves and expect to feel whole.

We can’t hide and expect to feel free.

And so I am showing up, fully myself, with a full chest, as exactly who I am:

• an intuitive

• a tarot reader

• a romance writer

• a personal essayist

• a mother

• a friend, sister, cousin, and daughter

• a karaoke queen

• a creative

• a woman who fully embraces all parts of herself

• a woman who wishes the same for all of you…and who is always here to help guide you

Your turn: What’s one part of yourself you’ve been hiding that you’re finally ready to reveal? Drop it in the comments.

There are many ways to affirm a new self concept to attract and maintain love. Depending on your comfort level, schedule, and how you naturally tap into your imagination, some techniques may feel easier to maintain than others. What matters most is that you shift within and change your self concept at a core level when it comes to romantic relationships.

A gentle reminder: don’t obsess over techniques. Don’t beat yourself up if you skip a day or fall off your routine. Live your life!

Before we dive into these manifestation techniques for self concept, let’s first define what self concept really means.

What Is Self Concept?

Self concept is how we identify ourselves, specifically through the beliefs that create our thoughts. It shows up in our life through how others treat us and what we allow from them.

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Our self concept acts like a mirror, reflecting our inner beliefs back to us. That’s why it needs to be solid! You want to identify and embody a version of yourself that is confident, secure, loved, chosen, prioritized, successful, and irresistible in love.

Need help identifying your current self concept in love? This article breaks it down for you. If you’ve already done that inner work, let’s move on to the manifestation techniques that help you shift it.

7 Manifestation Techniques to Shift Your Self Concept in Love

1. Affirming

Affirming is simply thinking with intention. We think about 60,000 thoughts a day, and when you affirm, you’re choosing those thoughts on purpose.

Methods of Affirming

There are several ways to affirm. Below are a few popular ones so you can decide what works best for you.

• Robotically affirming (Sammy Ingram’s Method): This involves repeating one affirmation for a specific desire (self concept, a specific person, money, etc.) all day, every day. Many of Sammy’s followers have seen quick success using this method.

Why some people don’t prefer robotic affirming: It can be hard to ignore your 3D reality at first, especially if you don’t see immediate results. While many have manifested specific people this way, others experience mental exhaustion or anxiety from constant repetition. Some also fall into the trap of checking for results and feeling discouraged if nothing has changed.

Sammy teaches persistence no matter what you see in the 3D. But do what feels healthiest and most sustainable for you.

• Mindless affirming: This is a lighter version of robotic affirming. You repeat affirmations while doing everyday tasks like washing dishes, folding laundry, or driving when your mind is on autopilot. It’s not all day, but it can be, which is why it’s just Robotic Affirming light.

• Focused affirming: Affirm two to three times a day for 5–10 minutes. Close your eyes and repeat one to three affirmations. Best times to do this is right before falling asleep and right after waking up when your subconscious is most open.

Mindset coach Dylan James suggests visualizing your affirmations as words or images while repeating them. Our minds think in pictures, so pairing visualization with affirmations helps them stick. It also helps your mind from getting distracted.

Bonus tip: Record your affirmations on your phone with pauses between each. Then, listen and repeat along (aloud or silently) for 10 minutes.

2. Scripting

Scripting is journaling with intention. You write your affirmations for 5–10 minutes. Writing helps your brain memorize and internalize ideas faster.

Types of Scripting

• Repetitive scripting: Write the same affirmation over and over for 5-10 minutes while repeating it in your mind.

• Free writing: Instead of repeating one affirmation, write several statements that reflect your desired reality.

Examples:

• I am easily committed to.

• Men commit to me so easily.

• Relationships are effortless for me.

• Commitment has always come easily for me.

• Men always commit to me quickly.

3. Visualizing in SATS (State Akin to Sleep)

Visualization is a popular self concept manifestation technique popularized by Neville Goddard.

How to do it:

1. Specify a desire. Decide what you want to shift in your self concept in love. Maybe being a woman who effortlessly meets healthy, loving partners or one who is deeply adored.

2. Create a 3-second scene. Imagine what it looks and feels like to be that version of you. Maybe your partner says “I love you,” or you feel their arms around you.

3. Loop the scene. As you drift to sleep, replay the scene vividly in your mind. You’re not fully awake or asleep—just drowsy. Loop it until you fall asleep, and repeat it again upon waking.

Keep doing this until your desire manifests.

4. Inner Conversations

Inner conversations are another powerful manifestation technique to shift your self concept in love. It’s as simple as imagining a natural conversation in your mind.

Like visualization, start by defining your desire. Then, create a short 3-second inner dialogue that reflects your fulfilled state.

Examples:

• You: I feel so loved!
  Your Person: You deserve it.

• You: I’m in the best relationship.
  Your Friend: I’m so happy for you!

Keep the tone natural—how you’d actually speak to someone close to you.

5. Sleep Audio (Dylan James’ Method)

Sleep audio is one of the most effective ways to reprogram your mind for self concept manifestation. While you sleep, your subconscious stays active, absorbing affirmations without resistance or overthinking.

Dylan James explains that our subconscious beliefs—often shaped by childhood and past relationships—create our romantic experiences. Listening to affirmations while you sleep helps rewrite those deep-seated patterns effortlessly.

How long should you listen?

There is no time frame. From personal experience, you’ll intuitively know when you’ve shifted. You’ll feel different—your natural thoughts, emotions, and behaviors will align with your new self concept. Your life may also change. People may treat you differently and reflect your new self conept in love.

6. Decide (Manifesting with Kimberly’s Method)

Manifesting with Kimberly focuses on deciding that you already have what you want. She calls it the “lazy way” to manifest.

To use this method, make a firm mental decision:

“I am always chosen. That’s just who I am now.”

Whenever an opposing thought arises, remind yourself:

“No, I am chosen. This is the new me.”

The more you reinforce that decision, the less you’ll waver.

7. Mental Diet

A mental diet means observing your thoughts and keeping them aligned with your desired self concept.

If your new self concept is being prioritized in love, your thoughts might sound like:

• Men always make time for me.

• I am always pursued.

• He loves spending time with me.

But if your thoughts sound like this—

• He never prioritizes me.

• I’m always the one reaching out.

Then it’s time to redirect. Your mental diet reveals your self concept and what you expect.

Final Thoughts on Manifesting Self Concept

If you catch yourself battling negative thoughts, don’t give up. It may take time to replace old beliefs about love and yourself in relation to a romantic relationship. It doesn’t have to take years, but it does take consistency and discipline.

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Most importantly, show yourself grace. You’re human. You’ll have emotional days, and that’s okay.

Nothing can block your desires but you. You can manifest and attract the love you desire by aligning with your new self concept. My personal advice? Live with gratitude and a deep knowing that everything is always working out for you—or as I like to affirm, “Everything always goes my way.”

ALSO READ:

From the outside, I looked confident. But the truth is that my confidence was external, feeding on validation from others. Deep down, I didn’t actually believe I was confident, worthy, or even good enough for a romantic relationship. The reasons why could fill a long list, but what matters is that I had an “aha!” moment—one that led me to self-concept work. That’s when I began creating a new self-concept in love: how I saw myself in relation to romance and my partners.

Before we dive into how you can identify your self-concept in love, let’s first talk about what self-concept actually is.

What Is Self-Concept?

Your self-concept is how you identify yourself. It’s how you present to the world based on what you believe about yourself. It’s shaped by your belief system, which forms in childhood and continues evolving through your experiences. The more something happens, the more it reinforces a belief or creates a new one.

Let’s take an example. Imagine a woman who always says she gets cheated on in relationships. At her core, she probably believes she’s easily replaced or not worthy of faithfulness. That belief might come from childhood. Maybe she saw a parent cheat, or maybe she felt replaced by a parent who left. Or perhaps her first boyfriend cheated, and ever since then, she’s feared it happening again.

When that self-concept goes unchecked, she will likely expect her next partner to cheat. She might even look for signs of it. As Neville Goddard—the “Granddaddy” of the Law of Assumption—teaches, we create what we believe we are (“I am”). So, because she identifies as “a woman who gets cheated on,” she continues to live that story.

This isn’t to blame my fictional character (or anyone who’s been cheated on for that matter)—she’s been through enough! It’s just an example of how our self-concept influences our reality. Even when others treat us badly, we unconsciously contribute to the pattern through how we identify ourselves.

Our self-concept directly impacts our romantic relationships because it sets the standard for how we allow others to treat us, and what we believe we deserve.

It all starts within.

How to Identify Your Self-Concept in Relationships

To uncover your core self-concept in love, you have to get real with yourself. Drop the blame game: it only keeps you stuck in victim mode. Instead, grab a journal and reverse-engineer your past.

⚠️ Quick note: This exercise can be triggering if you’re not ready for deep mindset work. If you are, and you truly want to change your love life, keep going.

1. Write down the names of your last three romantic partners.

2. Under each name, describe them in detail—their traits, how you saw them, how the relationship felt.

3. Then, write down why each relationship ended.

Take a breath. Take a break if you need to. Let the memories settle before coming back to reflect.

When you’re ready, ask yourself:

• What patterns do you see across those relationships? (Think about the kind of partner you attract, how things ended, and how you were treated.)

• What do those patterns say about you?

Be honest. If you notice a pattern of partners who don’t prioritize you, it might mean that deep down, you don’t identify as someone who is a priority or worthy of time and attention.

If you keep getting ghosted, you might be identifying as someone who:

• isn’t valued or important

• doesn’t deserve commitment

• is easily forgotten or replaced

• fears abandonment

Or maybe you tend to chase partners when they pull away. That could point to an insecure attachment style and a deep fear of being left.

Once you note your patterns, it’s time to change them. Start by writing affirmations that align with your new beliefs. (I share 44 affirmations for self-concept in love in this article—definitely check it out!)

Next Step: Solidify Your Self Concept in Love

Saturate your mind by repeating your affirmations using an affirmation technique. This article reviews seven powerful manifestation techniques. Choose one and stay consistent to start shifting your internal dialogue about who you are in love and what you truly deserve.

With repetition, you’ll begin to reprogram the old stories you’ve told yourself about your worth, value, and the limiting beliefs you’ve carried around love and relationships. Over time, you’ll naturally start to think and feel differently, and you’ll make choices that align with your new self-concept in love. That’s when the magic happens, as your outer world begins to reflect how you think, see, and feel about yourself.

Our self-concept in love is everything. The relationship we have with ourselves directly shapes how others show up in our lives. The world is our mirror, reflecting what we believe about ourselves every single day. That’s why I started repeating self concept affirmations for love.

If you’re ready to do the same, you’ll find 50 self-concept affirmations for love below!

44 Self-Concept Affirmations for Love

1. I am chosen.

2. I am wanted.

3. Love comes easily to me.

4. I attract love easily.

5. I am adored.

6. I am pursued.

7. I am more than enough.

8. The man/woman/person I want wants me.

9. I always get the guy/girl.

10. Men/women/people always commit to me.

11. I never chase love.

12. I am so lucky in love.

13. Men/women always reciprocate my feelings.

14. I am valuable.

15. I am worthy.

16. I am unconditionally loved.

17. I am enough just as I am.

18. I am the best.

19. I am the prize.

20. I am prioritized.

21. Men/women/people show up consistently in my life.

22. Love stays.

23. Love never fades.

24. Men/women/people commit to me easily.

25. I am lovable.

26. I am deserving.

27. I am irreplaceable.

28. I am unforgettable.

29. I am irresistible.

30. I am the only option.

31. I trust myself.

32. I feel safe in love.

33. I radiate love.

34. I am love.

35. I am spoiled.

36. I am adored.

37. I am blessed in love.

38. I don’t chase, I atrract.

39. I am used to men/women/people committing to me.

40. I am everyone’s type.

41. I check all his/her/their boxes.

42. I am his/her/their dream girl/guy/person.

43. I am confident in love.

44. Love always works out for me.

ALSO READ:

Are you ready? Are you excited? You should be! Since I started listening to my self-concept affirmations for love, I’ve felt better than ever—and you will too.

I thought I loved myself before this shift, and I did to an extent. I’ve always believed and felt that I am beautiful, witty, playful, emotionally intelligent, optimistic, funny, and a whole lot of fun. I’ve always carried a certain level of confidence. Still, beneath that confidence lived a deep need for validation that I couldn’t shake.

This need made me needy. It made me chase. It made me question everything about myself, my worth, and value whenever I didn’t get the guy or the job.

If a man I wanted didn’t reciprocate those feelings, it felt like a direct hit to my worthiness. I would spiral, asking myself, why won’t he choose me?

When I faced rejection after rejection for staff writer roles, I questioned my creative value.

If a friend didn’t show up for me, I seethed in anger, which was only a mask for my disappointment.

To that old version of me, my external experiences were a measure of my worth. What I didn’t know then, but know now, is that people only reflect what we believe about ourselves and what we believe we deserve.

People are our mirrors. And if my reflection was that of a woman who equated her worthiness with the validation of others, then people could only reject me. I was desperate to be seen, heard, and loved, to feel chosen, worthy, and enough. The pressure was too much for anyone to meet, and even when they tried, I still found holes in their love.

That’s why I now see every connection as a lesson. I’m not bitter, hurt, or angry at past romantic partners and connections who couldn’t give me what I wanted or needed. They simply couldn’t give me the love I craved, even if they wanted to. And even the ones who tried fell short because I questioned my worth despite their choosing me.

Now, I choose myself. I’m so in love with who I am that I no longer need a man or a job to choose me to feel chosen, loved, or accepted. I don’t need a relationship to feel worthy of love and commitment.

Because the way I love myself has changed, I’ve shifted from needing a man’s love to believe I’m lovable, to desiring romantic love as an extension of my own overflowing cup of self-love.

If you'd like to learn more about how this all unfolded, you can find a video on my mindset TikTok.

@manifestwithjeiryAffirming I am chosen has changed my life. I love myself so much now. #selfconcept #selfconceptwork #iamchosen #embodiment #affirmationsforselflove

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I also dive deeper in my solo podcast, Love Sujeiry: Your Daily Dose of Motivation.

Where I once convinced myself my passions were “too much,” or that I should focus on what felt safe and conventional, I am now saying, “Fuck it. I have one life. I’m following my bliss.”

I am embracing and loving myself in new ways. I am now confident at my core. So much so that I now believe that my stories, voice, and creativity are special as fuck. And I don’t care what anyone thinks or says about it. I know this is my purpose.

I am living and creating authentically, no matter what it looks like—and that is so freeing.

What’s Changed Is This

For me, being a storyteller isn’t just about writing romance novels or sharing insights on mindset. It’s about living fully, unapologetically, and authentically. It’s about showing up for myself and for others as my whole self. Now that means writing steamy short stories and novellas, co-hosting my podcast, The Straight Up Pod, restarting my solo podcast, Self Love w/ Sujeiry (starting soon!), vlogging about self-concept, reading tarot for your highest good, and simply being me.

There’s something magical that happens when you stop being someone you think you’re supposed to be and just show up as yourself.

You start attracting opportunities, people, and ideas that are aligned. You stop comparing yourself to others. You finally allow yourself to follow your dreams and the path that lights you on fire.

So here’s to following your bliss and showing up as your authentic self—because there’s nothing sexier than being you.

Now It’s Your Turn

Take a moment today and ask yourself: What’s one small thing I can do today to follow my bliss? Write it down, say it out loud, claim it, or share it with me by hitting reply.

Let this be your first step toward living fully and unapologetically.

Like, why did I gravitate toward unavailable men? Ah, yes, my father’s inconsistency and abandonment.

And why do men with raspy voices drive me wild? Oooh, Papi has a deep, raspy voice—and that definitely triggers something familiar from childhood.

Then there’s my attraction to Puerto Rican men. I’m Dominican, so this one isn’t Papi’s fault. But I did grow up listening to salsa thanks to my Boricua-loving prima hermana. I must have internalized that, because I admired her so much, I wanted to be just like her. So, come on down, Puerto Rican men!

This was my thought process throughout my 20s. Lord, I was always in my head. So naturally, I thought (ha!)—why not become a therapist?

Off I went, ready to apply to social work school. I was just days away from submitting my application when I met up with a college friend.

“I know you’re applying to school for social work, but I saw this and thought about you.” She handed me an advertisement for The Gotham’s Writers' Workshop.

“Didn’t you always want to be a writer?” she said as I flipped the pages of the pamphlet.

“Yeah. I still do. It’s my passion,” I responded.

“Why don’t you take a class this summer for fun?”

That’s exactly what I did. I took a journalism class with Rebecca, a freelance journalist, and fell in love with writing all over again. I was accepted to study social work, but I declined their offer, which cleared the path for me to become a successful freelance writer.

The rest is herstory. From writing my own relationship column to being coined the Latina Carrie Bradshaw to hosting my own show on SiriusXM, I accomplished my writing goals and more.

Transitioning Into a New Identity

But lately, psychology has been calling me back. I keep remembering how fascinated I was with the way people show up in romantic relationships, all rooted in their self-love (or lack thereof). I was so intrigued that I’d end up leading mini therapy sessions at frat parties—right there between the shots and the dancing.

The host's living room couch became my unofficial therapy chair. At every party, women gravitated toward me. Instead of lining up for the bathroom or waiting for the keg, they lined up to talk to me about their relationship drama and struggles with self-worth.

I loved it. My best friend, who hosted the frat parties? Not so much. He eventually forbade me from giving advice to women at his parties. Turns out, once they realized they deserved better, they started breaking up with his frat brothers left and right.

Back to My Old Self in A New Way

So you see, this is who I’ve always been. Even at 25, I was sharing my insights on self-love and reflecting on my own experiences. I was so influential that even while tipsy myself, my conversations with equally inebriated women inspired many of them to look inward and get clear on what they truly wanted and deserved.

I will always be this person: curious and intrigued by how our belief systems shape the way we experience love, what we expect and believe we deserve, and who and what we’re drawn to. I will always dig into why we see ourselves as loving and worthy—or, at times, the opposite.

This is why I’ve returned to being that girl on that living room couch. Only this time, my unofficial therapy couch is this museltter.

I’ve evolved, of course. I’ve learned so much about self-love and how to fill my own cup. I’ve also grown into a woman who values her privacy and isn’t here to tell anyone how to live their life. That means the way I approach speaking and writing about these topics will be different—because I am different.

With that said, I’m putting my research cap on. Back to school I go…metaphorically! I’ll be diving into how our brains work, how our identity shapes our experiences, and how it all influences who we love and why. I’m excited to share what I discover in a fresh way, because the Latina Carrie Bradshaw is part of my past.

Maybe I’ll just call myself the Latina Brené Brown now. Because the truth is, I’m not writing about finding love anymore—I’m writing about being love.

Growing up, one constant, nagging thought shaped everything — the choices I made professionally, the way I showed up in relationships, even how I saw myself. It held so much power over me. The thought? I never get what I want.

I had no idea that repeating that thought over and over, like a mantra I never meant to adopt, was shaping what I believed was possible for me. I saw myself as resilient, a hopeful romantic, even an optimist, but deep down, something kept me from feeling truly happy and fulfilled.

The Power of Repetition

Now I know that constantly thinking “I never get what I want” skewed everything. No matter how much I focused on gratitude or tried to stay positive, I could never shake the fear that something would eventually come along and fuck it all up. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And every time something didn’t go my way, I used it as proof, repeating “See? I never get what I want.”

Here’s the thing: my brain was just doing what brains do. Through repetition, I trained my mind to look for proof of that story. Every time something didn’t go my way, my brain’s Reticular Activating System — the part that filters what we notice — flagged it as evidence. The more I thought, “I never get what I want,” the more proof I found, and the deeper that belief settled as fact.

Subconsciously, I built a core belief: I never get what I want. And if I do, I have to struggle for it, fight for it, or fix myself and prove that I deserve it.

I Inherited This Belief System

Fundamentally, I had already been fed these messages growing up. I watched my mom struggle to raise three kids on her own after divorcing my father, a man who treated her terribly. Surely, she hadn’t willingly signed up for this life. She hadn’t wanted this at all.

Other women in my family — including my mom — just weren’t happy. They lived lives they hadn’t imagined, full of twists, heartbreak, and, for many, loneliness.

It actually reminds me of that Beatles song Yesterday (extraordinarily remade by En Vogue and Boyz II Men in the 90s). I randomly started singing it yesterday (pun intended), and I stopped at this line:

All so suddenly, I'm not half the girl I used to be

There's a shadow hanging over me

That lyric feels like many people I know — people who don’t quite recognize their lives anymore. Who never expected to be disappointed and disenchanted.

My Turning Point

These people have always served as a cautionary tale for me. They’re a constant reminder of the future I could face if I keep believing that things just don’t work out for me, that I never get what I want. So this year, I decided to take a proactive approach and change that belief system the same way I created it in the first place: through repetition.

My Process

I wrote down a handful of empowering statements that directly oppose the old narrative — the one that says I have to settle, that I don’t get what I want, and that life just happens to me without my control. I focused on statements that were about me, not about my circumstances, other people, or my environment. Then, I recorded these affirmations using the Parrot App and started listening every night before bed.

As of July 23, 2025 — the day I’m writing this — I’ve listened to that night audio for over 30 days. And honestly? It’s changed everything for me.

How I’ve Changed

I now fundamentally believe that everything is working out for me. That every circumstance, “wrench” in my plans, is still guiding me closer to what I truly desire. I trust that my higher self (the God within me, aka the Holy Spirit) intentionally throws twists and turns my way to redirect me, even if it feels a little wild sometimes, like a rollercoaster ride. (And if you know me, you know I’m terrified of rollercoasters.)

Because I now live by the belief “I always get what I want,” I feel at ease, secure, grounded, and deeply self-trusting. Life will keep life-ing. But because I trust that everything is aligning for me, I no longer live in fear.

I’m not a robot. I feel everything deeply. But now, I naturally see life, people, and circumstances through a different lens. Rose-colored glasses, if you will.

And here’s the truth: contrary to popular belief, seeing the world through rose-colored glasses can be life-changing. I’m living proof.

So, reframe your belief system. Do the work (I highly recommend creating your own night audio!) to build the belief that you can — and do — get what you want. That you never have to settle.

Slip on a pair of rose-colored glasses for a change. You’ll be amazed at just how magical life begins to feel.

I’m back.

I took a self-imposed time-out to focus on personal growth. And I’ve shifted and grown so much. I’ve explored my mindset, shedding old ways of thinking and narratives that kept me stuck in fear-based patterns. I have learned to love the version of me I once judged. Instead of hating her for the mistakes she made, I now hold her—and others—with compassion.

Now, I’m returning as a new version of me — one I’m so in love with and proud of. I can’t wait for you to get to know her! I’m still the sassy, fun, passionate, and energetic woman I was before, but with more awareness and self-acceptance.

With that said, welcome to my museletter, In My Flow — a space where alignment, evolution, and showing up fully and authentically in the present take center stage.

Here, I’ll share what I’m learning, how I’m evolving, and what it truly means to live authentically in the present moment from my perspective. Because that’s where the real magic happens.

So, who am I now?

I’m a writer, sharing without pressure. A woman continuing to shed old stories, fears, and roles. A creator flowing with what inspires me. A woman with a full cup because I filled it with self-love and gratitude.

To the oldies but goodies who have been riding with me and all the changes for years, thank you for sticking by my side.

To the new readers just finding me, welcome! I’m so glad you’re here.

To those who have stumbled upon my museletter, however you found me, I invite you to subscribe and receive these musings straight to your inbox. No schedules. No rules. Just moments of flow, shared from my heart to yours.

Here’s to showing up as our authentic selves, to evolving, and to being exactly who we are, right here, right now.

Love,

Sujeiry

Speaking of changes, I decided to shut down this newsletter/website after four and a half years. When I launched it in September 2020, I intended to share my personal relationship stories, as I once did for Latina Magazine. As time passed and life happened, I felt the need for privacy, and I began sharing my self-love and mindset musings instead.

As of 2022, I’ve been writing and publishing romance novellas (find my “Heights of Love” book series on Amazon). My business partner and I also launched Give Them Romance, a newsletter sharing stories from the POV of our BIPOC leading ladies. I’ve loved every minute of crafting the lives of my Latinx fictional characters. So much so, that I don’t desire to share my life in the same way anymore.

I am grateful for my career and the opportunities I created as an eager and determined relationship writer. I don’t regret writing about my love life, even when my choices were cringe-worthy. I’ve learned tons as a writer, entrepreneur, and person because of it. But I have evolved. As we evolve we make new choices and what once aligned no longer resonates.

So, this is the last you will see me in your inbox via this newsletter. I will be shutting it down by the end and erasing all content by the end of the month. Thank you for all the support and for rocking with me through the changes. Hopefully, I’ll see that you’ve subscribed to Give Them Romance. If not, no hard feelings.

Always sending you my love!

Love,

Sujeiry