How to Feel Joy in 11 Easy Steps
I once heard on a podcast that feeling joy is a choice. At the time, I swatted the notion away as I would a pesky fly.
Joy? A choice? I thought while listening to a mindset and self-love podcast. If it were that easy, wouldn’t everyone just wake up and choose to feel joy?
My attitude sucked, mostly due to how miserable I felt at that time in my life. I was unhappy in my current relationship with my then-fiance and the father of my son. My radio, writing, and blogging career had tanked after I landed in the NICU due to a subarachnoid brain hemorrhage. I was losing my mind as a stay-at-home mom with little time to write and no friends or family nearby. And I felt guilty AF for feeling all of it.
Until one day I felt sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I wanted to choose to feel joy!
I jumped out of bed before my son, Evan, arose and jotted down the daily steps I’d take every day to choose and feel joy. I committed myself to feeling happy and fulfilled despite my circumstances, and I haven't looked back since.
How to Feel Joy in 11 Easy Steps
What did I write down that has led to a life of happiness and fulfillment? I’m sharing it with you right now! Here’s how to feel joy in 11 easy steps.
Wake up and smile.
Did you know that smiling helps reduce and fight stress? According to Psychology Today, our brain releases tiny molecules called neuropeptides when we smile. Other “feel good” chemicals like dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin are also released when we smile. This is why you should start your day with a smile to find your joy!
If you don’t think you have anything right now to smile about, think back to a happy memory and loop it in your mind as soon as you wake up.
Find things to be grateful for.
Take stock! There is always something to be grateful for. If you find this challenging, start with something small. Say thank you to your body, if you’re healthy. Or find gratitude in friendships, even if it is just the one.
Finding things to be grateful for keeps us focused on the present moment. This very thing will help you feel joy daily.
Start with one little thing.
You don’t have to take on experiencing happiness like a hurricane! Just choose one thing to do every day that will help you feel better, even if it’s just smiling or laughing tons (more on that next.) The goal is to start. Don’t let the idea of feeling joyful intimidate you or keep you stuck!
Laugh lots!
Oh, how I love to laugh! Not only does it make you smile (and I covered the benefits of smiling already), but it just feels good. Especially when you need it.
Find something to laugh about every day. There are so many funny memes and gif sites and Instagram and TikTok accounts to get you going! I choose to laugh every night before bed by watching reels from Yerr NYC or watching one of my favorite comedies on Hulu, New Girl. Because a belly laugh is an amazing way to end the night!
Do things that make you happy.
Start a hobby that makes you happy! Not sure what that is? Write a list of everything you enjoy. Whether it’s sports, writing, or knitting, occupying our minds with activities that feel good uplifts our mood.
I write either on this blog or write my romance novels almost every day. I also walk, workout, and read often, if not daily. I also love journaling to reflect on my growth and the amazing life I’ve created.
Journal every night as if you’re living a joyful life!
My “living as if” journal gives me life! It’s a law of assumption manifestation technique. You simply write in a journal as if you’re already living the life you desire or you are going to live that life any minute now. The point is to let your imagination run wild!
Affirm your joy.
Affirming is just thinking. To affirm your joy, bring your conscious awareness to your thoughts and ensure that you’re thoughts are aligned with the life you wish to live and the joy you wish to feel. This works because of how the brain works. When we have similar thought patterns, our brain creates a new neuropathway. That neuropathway is strengthened the more we bring that specific thought (or a slew of similar thoughts) into our conscious mind. If you need a visual, this scene from Inside Out 2 demonstrates what’s happening in our brains when we persist in a thought!
The more you think joyfully, the more you will feel joy. Because our thoughts impact our feeling state.
Trust me, it works. Once I became aware and learned about manifestation and conscious creation (and used some of these techniques) I went from feeling insecure and unworthy to feeling invaluable and unforgettable. I now show up as confident because I feel confident. I don’t have to try to feel joy and be happy, I just am. And I don’t need anything external to fill my happy cup.
Stop dwelling.
So you see, that beautiful mind of yours holds a lot of power. Your dominant thoughts create your reality. They can hold you back from experiencing an amazing life.
When you are spiraling, use the techniques I share here on how to emotionally regulate your nervous system and take back your thoughts.
Daydream.
Close your eyes in child-like wonder and daydream! Daydreaming, or visualizing, helps us entertain a new way of life.
Daydream at any point of the day, as long as you’re not handling heavy machinery!
Just zone out for a moment. Stop reading this right now and think of a visual that makes you happy. You don’t even have to close your eyes. Visualize something that lifts your mood, whether it’s a memory or something you want to experience. If you choose a memory, make sure it doesn’t keep you stuck in the past. You want to get unstuck and remain in the present moment!
When you’re done, take inventory of how you feel. Did you smile? Did your eyes well up with happy tears? Good. Go back to this visual - or a similar visual - every time you need a boost of joy.
Be gentle with yourself.
You will have days when you feel crappy - and that is okay! As you walk this journey to choose joy every day, you will have ups and downs. When you do, tell yourself that you are human. You are having a human experience! You don’t have to be perfect.
Feel your feelings. Cry or dwell for an hour or two. Then move on. Use the strategies above to shake off persistent feelings of sadness, anger, or frustration from out of your system.
Create a joy bucket list!
This one is fun and something I decided to do recently. On a sheet of paper, write down all the new things you want to try. Like a bucket list, of sorts. Rip up the pieces of paper and stuff them inside a jar. Pick out one piece of paper every time you need a kick of joy!
Your joy bucket list doesn’t have to be anything crazy, like jumping out of an airplane. But if that’s your thing, go for it! Just write down things you can do to make you happy.
For example, I love writing, so I am now writing romance novels. I also love music and going to concerts. However, the old Sujeiry would never go to concerts because I was afraid to spend money due to my former “lack” money mindset. Today, I claim I have so much money that I need a damn vault to keep it safe. Since shifting my self concept and my relationship and beliefs around money, I don’t worry about spending any more.
And guess what? I went to 4 concerts in 2024: Bad Bunny, Marc Anthony, Beyonce, and Karol G. I did not care about the money because I am so damn abundant - and I believe it. I always have money to spare and never have to worry. The icing on the cake is that these experiences filled me with joy!
So, you see, feeling joy every day can be this easy. You just have to take a step toward your happiness, even if it’s baby steps. Do it. I dare you!