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I’ve been microcheated on and you probably have to. The culprit, aside from the pendejo that decided to step out (so many pendejos in my life!) is social media.

Now that we can engage with thousands of attractive strangers, serial killers and THOTS, relationships are even more vulnerable to infidelity. With a swipe of a finger your boo-thang can get up close and personal with another vagina or penis - or both.

Microcheating is that easy.

So, what exactly is microcheating? Essentially, it’s a pattern of behavior that may seem minute in the grand scheme of relationship infidelity, but does affect a relationship in the long run. That’s because your partner is placing their energy, emotions and attention onto someone else. See: not you.

Another thing about microcheating to be aware of: it’s not so easy to catch or pinpoint. Unlike finding text messages detailing the love he has for his mistress or finding a pillowcase on his bed or catching them locked in a kiss when you come home from work (how cliché) catching a microcheater takes some sleuthing and observation. Here are behaviors that indicate your partner may be microcheating.

…smiles or talks on the phone a lot more than usual.

Something or someone on that phone is getting your partner giddy. They’re all in their feelings and it’s all over their face.

…is always on social media.

Dude may be microcheating if he’s obsessed with checking his social media feed. Especially if he’s engaging with specific profiles. Especially on Instagram. Especially if he uses heart emojis. And yea, eggplants.

…engages with another woman on social media but never with your social media posts.

A “friend” posts the “Cry for You” video by Jodeci and your partner likes the post, comments on the post, and engages said “friend” in a social debate about the song and Jodeci’s current state. (Whatever happened to them anyway? Young readers, use your Googling sleuth skills to learn your R&B history.) Only you posted that video the day before, mentioned it to him, and…crickets. And this happens all of the time. Freaking microcheater!

…downplays the seriousness of your relationship.

If your boo-thang still acts like you’re “just dating” when you’ve been in a relationship for years, and all of the above is happening, well…you know.

…doesn’t share private thoughts with you and does with someone else.

That someone else can be a friend of the opposite sex (or same sex if you’re in a same-sex relationship) that they are attracted to. There’s nothing wrong with having attractive friends, but you should be the person your partner shares great news and deep feelings with. You should be their person.

…sends an old photo to their ex

Exes are exes for a reason, so why is mofo still chatting them up on email, liking their Instagram photos and sending them photos of themselves “ at the gym.” Simply put, sending an old photo to an ex indicated that they may want to rekindle that flame. Like, oh, look at us when we were together and happy!

Mira pendejo, maybe you should be sending your significant other pics. Focus on reigniting the relationship you do have instead of microcheating to your heart’s content.

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