Don't Talk to Strangers with RBF
Evan's Resting Bitch Face will scare you! And anyone that comes near me.
Welcome to the LOL Mom, my new personal essay series where I share #boymomlifebelike moments. I'll get to tickle your funny bone all while preserving memories. It'll be like our little time capsule. And potentially a way to embarrass Evan in the future when he's old enough. It's a win-win.
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Episode 2: Don't Talk to Strangers with RBF
Despite my New York City upbringing, I’m a very polite and very friendly person. That’s unless you come at me with a Resting Bitch Face, an expression so nasty that it looks as if you can’t stand the smell of your own breath. Hold my imaginary hoop earrings! I get really Washington Heights (despite living 10+ years in suburbia) and will meet you with the same energy. Because RBF (resting bitch face) begets DALYCDSF (don’t act like your caca don’t stink face). It’s called karma, baby!
Turns out that an eye roll for an eye roll has brought upon some karma for yours truly in the form of my son, Evan. You see, my sweet, kind, sensitive, funny, and artistic boy has RBF when meeting new people. This is especially true when yours truly talks to strangers.
Exhibit A. Evan and I are walking to Kohl’s. I see an older Black woman walking behind me and stop to leave the door open for her.
“Thank you, young lady,” she says with a smile.
“You’re welcome,” I respond, feeling myself and my polite deed of the day. (One of many, I assure you!)
“And who’s this handsome fellow?” She asks while peeking over at Evan who is holding my hand with a grip of 1000 UFC fighters.
He stares at her blankly, RBF all up on that mug. “Evan.”
“Oh, he’s so cute,” she says to me as we all walk inside of Kohl’s.
“Thank you,” I reply, although Evan’s now yanking at my arm so I don’t walk beside her.
“Stop talking to my Mami!’ he finally yells. His RBF transforming right before my eyes into DALYCDSF!
I wrote a little something, something to tickle your genitals: Yoanna, a steamy, romance novel featuring Latinx characters.
You can read chapters of Yoanna on Amazon right here. If you need some convincing, here’s an excerpt.
Yoanna is part of my book series, Heights of Love, which represents the romantic lives of characters from my old ‘hood, Washington Heights. My first novel from the series, Candi, is available in paperback and on Amazon Vella here. Pick your poison!
Speaking of poison, if you want something extra hot, extra steamy, extra erotic, I got you. Cocktails and Strategy is my first foray into erotic writing and it will make you feel hot…down there. Read if you dare. Just make sure your kids or coworkers aren’t around. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
That’s it for now! As always, thanks for the reads and the support. One day I intend to write full time again. It’s what I love to do! But first I have to ramp up those reads (this is me begging you to buy my books and/or click on those links to read my stories). Is either that or find a Sugar Daddy at 45.
Yeah. I’m doomed. So click on those links for me.