The One Belief That Changed Everything for Me

The mindset shift that made life feel easier and more magical.

Growing up, one constant, nagging thought shaped everything — the choices I made professionally, the way I showed up in relationships, even how I saw myself. It held so much power over me. The thought? I never get what I want.

I had no idea that repeating that thought over and over, like a mantra I never meant to adopt, was shaping what I believed was possible for me. I saw myself as resilient, a hopeful romantic, even an optimist, but deep down, something kept me from feeling truly happy and fulfilled.

The Power of Repetition

Now I know that constantly thinking “I never get what I want” skewed everything. No matter how much I focused on gratitude or tried to stay positive, I could never shake the fear that something would eventually come along and fuck it all up. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And every time something didn’t go my way, I used it as proof, repeating “See? I never get what I want.”

Here’s the thing: my brain was just doing what brains do. Through repetition, I trained my mind to look for proof of that story. Every time something didn’t go my way, my brain’s Reticular Activating System — the part that filters what we notice — flagged it as evidence. The more I thought, “I never get what I want,” the more proof I found, and the deeper that belief settled as fact.

Subconsciously, I built a core belief: I never get what I want. And if I do, I have to struggle for it, fight for it, or fix myself and prove that I deserve it.

I Inherited This Belief System

Fundamentally, I had already been fed these messages growing up. I watched my mom struggle to raise three kids on her own after divorcing my father, a man who treated her terribly. Surely, she hadn’t willingly signed up for this life. She hadn’t wanted this at all.

Other women in my family — including my mom — just weren’t happy. They lived lives they hadn’t imagined, full of twists, heartbreak, and, for many, loneliness.

It actually reminds me of that Beatles song Yesterday (extraordinarily remade by En Vogue and Boyz II Men in the 90s). I randomly started singing it yesterday (pun intended), and I stopped at this line:

All so suddenly, I'm not half the girl I used to be

There's a shadow hanging over me

That lyric feels like many people I know — people who don’t quite recognize their lives anymore. Who never expected to be disappointed and disenchanted.

My Turning Point

These people have always served as a cautionary tale for me. They’re a constant reminder of the future I could face if I keep believing that things just don’t work out for me, that I never get what I want. So this year, I decided to take a proactive approach and change that belief system the same way I created it in the first place: through repetition.

My Process

I wrote down a handful of empowering statements that directly oppose the old narrative — the one that says I have to settle, that I don’t get what I want, and that life just happens to me without my control. I focused on statements that were about me, not about my circumstances, other people, or my environment. Then, I recorded these affirmations using the Parrot App and started listening every night before bed.

As of July 23, 2025 — the day I’m writing this — I’ve listened to that night audio for over 30 days. And honestly? It’s changed everything for me.

How I’ve Changed

I now fundamentally believe that everything is working out for me. That every circumstance, “wrench” in my plans, is still guiding me closer to what I truly desire. I trust that my higher self (the God within me, aka the Holy Spirit) intentionally throws twists and turns my way to redirect me, even if it feels a little wild sometimes, like a rollercoaster ride. (And if you know me, you know I’m terrified of rollercoasters.)

Because I now live by the belief “I always get what I want,” I feel at ease, secure, grounded, and deeply self-trusting. Life will keep life-ing. But because I trust that everything is aligning for me, I no longer live in fear.

I’m not a robot. I feel everything deeply. But now, I naturally see life, people, and circumstances through a different lens. Rose-colored glasses, if you will.

And here’s the truth: contrary to popular belief, seeing the world through rose-colored glasses can be life-changing. I’m living proof.

So, reframe your belief system. Do the work (I highly recommend creating your own night audio!) to build the belief that you can — and do — get what you want. That you never have to settle.

Slip on a pair of rose-colored glasses for a change. You’ll be amazed at just how magical life begins to feel.