Is Hookup Culture Keeping Us Single?
We’re walking around like zombies after one-night stands and fleeting sex.
Growing up Latina, Mami told me to hold off on sex until I was in a committed relationship with a man that loved and respected me. In hindsight, that was a pretty liberal approach; she didn’t expect me to be a virgin until marriage. That, however, was the gist of my mother’s birds and the bees talk. And I tried keeping my cookie in my pants until I found “the one.” I succeeded throughout college. Then I hit my 20s and desperately desired to rid myself of my hymen and let my freak flag fly. I jumped into bed with a guy that was not my boyfriend (don’t tell Mami!) and, afterward, I felt fucking empty. We weren’t emotionally connected, which apparently was something I needed to feel good during and after sex. The more I thought about it during my Walk of Shame, I realized that hook up culture is probably leading to a losing intimacy and trust in relationships. We’re walking around like zombies after one-night stands and fleeting sex. And for what?
I promise I’m not a fuddy duddy. I may be middle-aged, but I am not knocking women who explore their sexuality in whatever way they choose. Power to you, if you feel empowered after hooking up. For me, as much as “hookup” culture seemed fun, hot, and freeing, it rarely led to a committed relationship and the love and partnership that I desired.