Magical Things Are Brewing
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God loves to show off. He loves to drop metaphorical acorns on my head. Not to hurt me, like that time a squirrel almost knocked me out while perched inside of a tree, tossing acorns after every nibble. But to remind me of my magic as a Latina Writer.
God’s cocotasos are much more subtle, like when you lightly whack your boyfriend on the arm when his eyes wander over to the television screen during dinner. Or when your momma gives you a side eye as a warning that shits about to go down if you don’t stop messing around. And I’ve been messing around. I ran in and out of rooms, jumped on beds, and knocked over the glass elephant that faces the door to bring in good fortune.
I’ve rattled my very core as a Latina Writer and Creative because I forgot who the fuck I am. But God knows. That’s why He delivered this message to me via email from a fellow Dominicana and long-time reader and supporter of my work
“I want to say you are an amazing writer. Your words are witty and heartfelt. But more importantly, your honesty and transparency is so courageous. I love love love these emails and your podcast. You are talented, creative and amazing entertainer and writer that has a wisdom of an 80 year old vieja.”
This email was a wakeup call for me. God uses people to deliver messages just when we need it. At the time, I was at the precipice of creating a new business with a business partner and launching my own project for creative entrepreneurs. Intuitively, something felt off. I wavered about the work, questioned my direction, and, if you listen to my podcast, you know I was going through a mid-life crisis of sorts. After writing and creating for over a decade, I abandoned my dreams to please my ex-fiancé who hated my career. Plus, after suffering a brain hemorrhage a month after child birth, I didn’t have the energy or fight to relaunch my career. I didn’t know who I was, how to succeed anymore as a writer and creative, or who I was supposed to be. A perfect recipe for jumping from one thing to another due to fear and lack of clarity.
Today feels different. And I’ve felt different since I received that email on 10/21/22 at 6:36pm. Because at 10/21/21 at 9:00am I wrote this in my journal in full-on Kanye caps:
I CAN DO THIS. I WILL DO THIS. I AM A FUCKING STORYTELLER AND CONTENT CREATION MACHINE. I AM CREATIVE AF AND I WILL AND NEED TO MONETIZE THESE GIFTS.
Mic drop. And God’s cocotaso dropped just 6 hours after I penned this little pep talk.
Since then, I have returned to my roots. I am home again. Only this time I am building a stronger and much more authentic foundation. I have a clear sense of purpose and direction. I have set goals. I have the strength and experience that I didn’t have before to do what I’ve always intended and desired to do: to write and create for a living.
And I intend to do so with the wisdom of an 80-year-old vieja.