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I'm Letting My Intuition Guide Me so Shits About to Change
It's time to shake things up 'round here. It's time to do what I intended: to create a space to share Latinx stories and revel in our words.
I made a decision that went against everything I said I wanted. I said yes to a job that did not align with my goals and my desired lifestyle. I wanted a remote job, this job required me to go into the office 5 days a week. I wanted a job that gave me enough freedom to pick up and drop off my son at school. This job would make that impossible. I wanted a stress-free work environment so I had enough energy to finish my romance novels, relaunch my podcast, and cultivate the Love Sujeiry on Substack community. This job locked me in with hours of arduous work.
So, why did I say yes to a job that didn’t check any of my boxes? My fear of the unknown, that why.
There I was at my new job, realizing that I had made the wrong choice. Every inch of me yelled, “QUIT!” so I did just that after one week. Fortunately, following my intuition and course correcting led to a new position that checks most of my boxes.
My current gig pays more, is fully remote, and my schedule is flexible enough that I can be a more present mom. And yet, it still doesn’t feel right. Because no job will ever satisfy me like making a living as a storyteller does. It’s like substituting the warmth and touch of a man for a vibrator. Eventually, I want the real deal!
That’s why I’m stopping the excuses. By any means necessary, I’m finding the time to create. And as I wrote and edited and rewrote this very piece, my intuition spoke to me again, reminding me why I started this project in the first place: to share my personal essays, romantic fiction, and the voices and stories of Latinx. Only I haven’t been doing that at all. Instead, I made a rational decision to repurpose juicy Love Sujeiry content and share it here on Love Sujeiry on Substack It was less work. Just like when I took that first job, I made a strategic move void of intuition and passion. I chose the easy route instead of taking a chance as a writer.
We do this, you know. We talk ourselves into and out of things because we are afraid to fail. We bet on what’s safe, not on the things that ignite us. We forget that our inner child lives within and has a vision for our lives.
So today, I vow to continue to move in the ways that feel right. I vow to show myself grace as I learn to trust myself again.
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