Joining the league
Joining the league
…and I ain’t talking about baseball.
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At the fresh age of 46, I waved a white flag and shut down all of my dating profiles. Facebook Dating, Bumble, Hinge: I was using them all simultaneously for months. Not because I’m a player, but because I wanted to widen my reach to meet The One.
After months of trying, I lost all interest in swiping, texting, chatting, and dating men with whom I felt no connection or desire to be with. And so, on April 16, 2024, I surrendered myself to the possibility of meeting my husband the good old-fashioned way.
Maybe I would meet him at the mall. Or the grocery store. Or at ‘da club like I met one of my exes back in the day. My experiment was somewhat successful. A guy approached me at the Smith Haven Mall and asked for my number. Only he was 22 years old. Another swerved his car around when leaving the Lidl parking lot, almost running into me while I packed my groceries in my trunk. He rolled down his window.
“I saw you walking out of the grocery store and had to turn around. You are beautiful. Can I have your number?” he said hopefully.
“Let me take yours.”
I never called him. Although his valiant Fast and the Furious efforts were extremely flattering, I wasn’t physically attracted to him.
Then there was the recent guy who I was attracted to, did have chemistry with, and the feelings were mutual. I met him at a bar when out with a girlfriend. I was intrigued, excited even, until he pulled his hands from out of his pockets and revealed his black metal wedding band. Married Guy still kept pushing up on me, but I’m not in the business of being la otra.
Now here I am 5 months since bidding farewell to online dating and willing to give it another shot. Cause I’m still single. I still want to be in a committed relationship. I am still hopeful for The One. Maybe I will meet him on The League, a new dating app I’m venturing into any day now. And by any day now that means I am still psyching myself up to set up my profile and reenter the world of online dating.
I know that I can be successful if I have the right mindset. I met my ex fiance and Evan’s dad, Dave, on POF when I moved back to NYC from Los Angeles. I met a very special someone that I call “Eric” (you can read a poem I wrote about us here) on Bumble at the heels of turning 44. Two different men and relationships that ended, yes, but that still hold a special place in my heart. Dave is the father of my son. Eric is…well, just read the poem.
What I know about meeting Dave and “Eric” online is that I was ready at the time that I met them. I was excited to meet someone new. To have an adventure. To fall in love. This is not where I’ve been this past year since things ended between “Eric” and me. Instead of trying to meet someone, I focused on loving myself and cultivating a healthier mindset regarding love, men, commitment, and self-worth. I now feel like a more evolved version of myself.
I feel like I’ve finally arrived as a woman who knows her worth and is in love with herself for the first time in 46 years.
And so, I am ready to swipe, chat, text, and date. Find me on The League where I’ll be open to meeting The One all while keeping my eyes peeled at the grocery store.
Thank you for rocking with me. Thank you for reading. Thank you for rooting for me and my hopeful, resilient heart.
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Till next time…
xoxo,
Sujeiry