The Things I Cannot Do
Like sex without connection. Or slowing down emotionally when I’m bursting with feelings of like and love.
I can roll my tongue like a tube. I can wind my waist and drop it like it’s hot even at 44. I can talk a mile a minute while simultaneously storing detailed information inside The Vault (my brain). But, there are a lot more things that I cannot do.
Like wrapping my legs around my neck. Or doing the split. Or swimming in deep waters because I feel unsafe when I do not feel the ground underneath me.
Like having sex without connection. Or slowing down emotionally when I’m bursting with feelings of like and love. Or ceasing to fantasize about Eric, creating fanciful scenarios straight out of a romcom.
Like feigning interest in a person or a job. Or pretending that I’m not a hopeless romantic. Or being fake about what I feel because I wear my heart on both sleeves and express all of my feelings through my eyes. Or opening myself to other romantic connections when I already feel so fucking connected.
Yet, here I am doing all the things I never thought I could do: